Anger doesn't begin to describe it.

Everyone knows about the Tiger Woods debacle, right? If you don't watch TV, listen to the radio, go on the Internet, or know anyone who does, maybe you don't know. Sadly, he is not the first to commit adultery and will not be the last. I am so sick of hearing about divorces involving adultery! Why do people get married and then decide that that person they committed their life and love to is not good enough? I know that the root of it is our sinful nature, and that it is a discontentment with what God has given you, which plays out in other places in life. However, not only do people who commit adultery destroy their wife or husband and wound them for life, they hurt their children emotionally and handicap them for any future relationship. If you don't think you can commit to the person you are with for the rest of your life, DON'T GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU CAN! I am sorry for my overflow of mad thoughts; my blogs aren't usually angry. I am just near a situation like this right now and I am pretty mad right now. However, it also makes me thankful for my loving, faithful husband. I know from the bottom of my heart he would never leave me for another, and I can only praise God for His grace in giving us the relationship we have. These verses from Romans 12:9-15 are a comfort to me, and also a good reminder of how to live and be content with what God has given us.

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

When we seek the Lord first, appreciate His gifts to us, and seek to put others above ourselves, we will be content with what we have. Right now, I am praying for not only those who have lost their spouses to adultery, but those who have committed it. May they realize the pain and destruction they have caused, and seek the One who can heal all wounds and restore the broken paths they have created.

This is funny...

I haven't posted a video in a while, so I thought I would post this one.
Hope you get a laugh!

Baby Fix

So here is my big news: I have officially joined the ranks of women who are pregnant! (We could make up an army, you know.) I have wanted to blog about my feelings for a while on this subject, but haven't been able to until now. From the moment I found out I was pregnant about five weeks ago, I have had a ton of emotions floating in and out of my emotion pool.

First emotion: Good shock. I couldn't believe there was actually a living being inside my body. It actually would be really, really weird if it wasn't so cool! I hope that makes sense!

Second emotion: Overwhelmed. I couldn't believe that, from now on, I am responsible for this little person. Not only how I eat and keep my body now, but also post-birth. My husband and I are going to be responsible for his/her clothing, schooling, manners, food, bodily health, discipline, spiritual guidance, mental wholeness, and the list goes on and on. We could easily mess SOMETHING up, when the list is so long! I have been praying every day that God would give us more wisdom, patience, and love that we can't muster on our own, so that we could raise this child for His glory.

Third emotion: Mind-wreaking, soul-churning LOVE. This I have actually been very surprised by. I always knew I would love our children; I didn't realize it could be so powerful and so soon. I loved this little one from the moment we found out I was pregnant. I love it's ability to grow against all odds, I love that it is the size of a grape right now, I love that it is a part of me and a part of my husband. This love just grew stronger when we saw it for the first time on the ultrasound. It was too tiny to hear the heartbeat, but we could see it. A little dot with a little heartbeat going faster than a bird fluttering it's wings.

I never want to over-spiritualize an event, making that event more and Christ less; instead, I believe we should make Christ more in every event. So this is my moment to praise God for our child. People who don't even know God claim children are miracles, which they are. However, we often forget Who made the miracle and why He does it: for His glory to be known.

Almighty God,
Who are we to know You? I praise You, Lord, that even while we hated and despised You, You loved us with a passion only a parent would know. Thank You for being my loving Heavenly Father, who loves me even when I run so far away in my heart. I am sorry for the times I haven't glorified You, when I have acted like You don't matter in my life. You are the only Thing that does matter, and I pray that those who do not know You would find You soon. I couldn't imagine my child not knowing me, not knowing how much I love and treasure it. I know, Father, now how much that would hurt. Thank you for our child! Besides my husband and salvation through Christ, it is the best gift You have ever entrusted to me. I hold these gifts loosely in my hands, knowing that they are really Yours. May I serve you until my dying breath.
Amen.

Plastic Bags Make Her Cry

So, I am not going to say where I saw this happen, but I just HAVE to write about it. Before I say anything, let me emphasize that I think that protecting the environment is very important. Especially as God's people, Christians should be very proactive about caring for His creation, because He commands us to in Genesis. However, there is a line between caring for the environment and worshiping it. This last week, I saw a young woman cry because the woman next to her got a plastic bag for her belongings. Not just a few tears, mind you. Sobbing with big tears down her face. Then this Environmental Woman proceeded to tell the shocked Plastic Bag Lady that plastic is horrible for the environment and kills innocent animals. The shocked Plastic Bag Lady, trying to be kind, apologizes for offending and tries to pat the Environmental Woman on the back, and the Environmental Woman pulls away and snaps, "Don't touch me." I couldn't help but be an observer of this all, wondering all the while how Environmental Woman goes into stores at all, especially big bag makers like Target and Walmart. She must just not go into them at all. I can't even imagine what she does when she sees SUV's.

As soon as...

So, my last post was about life being on hold, right? Pretty much as soon as I wrote it, God showed me, in His grace and mercy, what I was supposed to learn.

I have been studying Esther in my bible study. Esther, for you non-Bible readers, is the historical narrative about a woman who is amazing! Esther is a Jewess who risks her life to save her people because God directs her life to be in power as the king of Persia's wife. I realized for the first time that when Haman, the man who wants to kill the Jews, decrees that all Jews in Persia will be killed on a certain date, it is the beginning of Passover. Passover is the time that all Jews remember the time that God delivered them from Egypt, in which they were bound in horrible slavery. Now, Passover is supposed to be a very special time for the Jews, and is a celebration of life and God's mercy. It would have been horrible for them to have such depressing news that they were going to be slaughtered; men, women, and children. However, I thought of how cool it would be for them to be reminded of God's faithfulness in the past at the exact moment they were declared marked people. It doesn't end there, though. Esther tells the king of Persia that Haman has this evil plan against the Jews, and the king stops Haman's plan. God's faithfulness is shown by putting Esther in the palace at the exact right time so that she can save her people.

So what does this have to do with me? I realized that God has put many things in my life to remind me of His faithfulness. When I was little, my family was pretty poor, but we never went hungry or without what we needed. I have a husband that I adore, and who loves me! I have a job I genuinely like with people I enjoy being around. My husband has a job he loves, and both of our jobs provide us with an apartment that is safe, warm, and perfect for us. I have many great friends who would give up anything to help me, and are some of the best people I know. I have an AWESOME family filled to the brim with people I love deeply. I can drink tea all the time, because I can buy it anytime I want. (I really love tea!) I live in a country that allows me to worship Jesus freely, and not have to fear persecution or death of myself or loved ones. I can read any kind of book by just going to a public library and checking it out. When I thought of these things, I was immediately humbled and asked God to forgive me. I have been spoiled by His continuous provision, and I have no right to be dissatisfied. Being in a waiting period is good for the soul. It causes us to let go and sink into God, realizing that we need to be satisfied in Him now, before our short lives pass away.

My Life is on Hold...

It seems like everything is on hold in my life right now. Waiting is really hard for me! I am trying to be balanced and trust God with this time, but it is really stretching me. I feel like I am straining to see a lake across a wide desert. Don't get me wrong, this time is not a bad. There are just a couple life decisions that are weighing on me, and I feel like I can't handle them much longer. I have found that I learn the most in these times, but right now, I am not really sure what I am supposed to learn. We'll see...

What I've been thinking lately...

I have been thinking about how much we think too much about ourselves. We spend all day thinking about what WE are going to wear, what WE are going to eat, what WE are doing right now. We spend all this time and energy working towards OUR security and OUR comfort. I am just the same. As humans, we all do this. However, as a Christian, it is imperative that we try to be different. Sadly, few are. Think of all the people who stopped thinking of themselves and thought of others first. My parents come to mind as a personal example; my dad selflessly serves others in the church, and my mom selflessly serves our family. They could have had a lot of money and more time to themselves, but they chose to serve Christ and love their family. As a more general example, there is Mother Theresa. From what I have read and heard, she barely spent a moment thinking of herself. She went in areas that were very dangerous, touched and loved people who were very sick, and served Christ to the end. She said that every person she helped she treated as if it were Jesus Himself. We can all point out examples of these people that are consumed with their short lives, but put them aside for others and for God. The Ultimate example is Christ, who lived, died, and was resurrected, all so that we may know God personally. How can we now live for ourselves? The truth is, once we have grasped this, we can't. Life is too short to do be consumed with money, clothes, and work. The true glory is laying our lives down, so that Christ may be glorified more.